“…and turned to me again…”
Luke 22:32
Peter had not moved from the position in which he was praying since arriving home.1 Kneeling on the stone floor, his head rested on folded hands propped up on a bench by the fire he had made. There is hope! He thought. His mind played back the events that led up to his run with John to the tomb.2
The night before the first day of the week, he and John had taken turns praying continuously in the upper room where the Twelve had last supped with the Son of God. This familiar place brought comfort for their congregating after experiencing the most gruesome and tortuous eyewitness account of Jesus’ trials, torture, trek, testimony, and death. They were in awe of Jesus’ grace and mercy as he hung, nailed to the beams, looking down upon the crowd saying, “Father, forgive these people, because they don’t know what they are doing.”3 Peter in particular when he heard these words, was humbled to the point of brokenness.
Peter wrestled with the thoughts of his erratic behavior over the past four days. He was frustrated with his rash actions in the garden when he struck the high priest’s servant with his sword4 and then fled.5 He felt demoralized by his spiritual vulnerability and the resulting disloyalty when he denied knowing his Lord three times.6 He was not the stalwart, invincible leader he promised to be for the Twelve.
He recalled the boasts he had made7—after they had broken bread, given thanks, and passed the cup8—when they were arguing about who was the greatest amongst them.9 It was Jesus who put their pride in perspective when he humbled them saying, “In this world the kings and great men order their people around, and yet they are called ‘friends of the people.’ But among you, those who are the greatest should take the lowest rank, and the leader should be like a servant.”10
At that moment, he thought of Jesus and John, the disciple whom Jesus loved.11 What was it about John with which Jesus so identified? John was the youngest and by far the most trusting and loving of the Twelve. Jesus favored Peter, John, and his older brother James in His demonstration of signs and miracles, and Peter as the leadership of this band of brothers.12 Yet it was he, Cephas—the Rock13—that routinely blundered in his self-appointed role as their leader.14
Peter’s mind looked back to his first confession of Christ. He felt the pride he had experienced for being the one to answer Jesus’ question to the disciples traveling with Him, “But what about you? Who do you say I am?” Before his mind had even put thought to the question, Peter had answered, “You are the Messiah, the Son of the living God.”15 It was not of his own thinking, but as Christ himself acknowledged, “You are blessed, Simon son of John, because my Father in heaven has revealed this to you. You did not learn this from any human being.” Then Jesus warned them not to tell this to anyone16 —not that Jesus feared for His life, but rather, that He did not want to lose a single one of them17 on account of their confession. Peter recalled Jesus words of explanation, “For I, the Son of Man, must suffer many terrible things. I will be rejected by the leaders, the leading priests, and the teachers of religious law. I will be killed, but three days later I will be raised from the dead.”18
Then Peter heard these words as if Jesus was standing next to him now in the room of his home, If you want to be my follower, you must put aside your selfish ambition, shoulder your cross daily, and follow me.19 He came to realize at that instant that it was his pride and self-confidence that was keeping him from knowing and loving Christ the way John, the disciple whom Jesus loved, so willfully portrayed. Peter heard his Lord continue to speak to him, “Normally the master sits at the table and is served by his servants. But not here! For I am your servant.”20
Suddenly, Peter saw his Master washing his feet. Immediately he prostrated himself before his Lord Jesus and cried out, “Oh, Lord, please leave me—I’m too much a sinner to be around you.”21 Tears of humility flowed from Peter’s eyes as his thoughts continued, I am not worthy to be in Your presence, Lord, for I shamed myself before you and the others when I denied that I am one of Your disciples.
Then Jesus, knowing what Peter was thinking,22 held out his hand, the scar of the nail that pierced his arm evident to the disciple on whose faith He would build His church23 and said, “Don’t be afraid! From now on you’ll be fishing for people!”24 Jesus’ comforting words took his thoughts to the place where He had initially called Peter to follow Him,25 and the gesture of Jesus’ hand reaching out to him filled his heart with the saving grace of his Lord when he became afraid while walking on water and sank beneath the waves.26
Peter took Jesus’ hand, his fingers touching the scar of sin and the hand of forgiveness, which then, lifting him up, delivered him from the sifting of Satan.27 Jesus said, “If you try to keep your life for yourself, you will lose it. But if you give up your life for me, you will find true life.”28 Peter now understood why Jesus had washed his feet.29
I have yet to give you your cross to bear. As this thought crossed his mind, Peter heard Jesus continue, “But I have pleaded in prayer for you, Simon, that your faith should not fail. So when you have repented and turned to me again, strengthen and build up your brothers.”30
Peter closed his eyes and saw in his mind a picture of John ahead of him, both of them running full of anticipation of what they were to encounter at the tomb.31 Mary Magdalene had come to them first to exclaim, “They have taken the Lord’s body out of the tomb, and I don’t know where they have put him!”32 Then he saw the grave as clear as if he was there again, the strips of linen lying there, as well as the burial cloth that had been around Jesus’ head, folded by itself, separate from the linen.33
When he reopened his eyes, Peter saw that he was the only one in the room … and he believed.
Praise to Our Father for the words He has given me.
Copyright © 2004, 2005 Stellar Rhema Ministry, 2016 by Jeff Cambridge
References
Unless otherwise indicated, all Scripture quotations are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.
1. John 20:10
2. John 20:4
3. Luke 23:34
4. John 18:10
5. Matthew 26:56
6. John 18:17, 25, 27
7. Matthew 26:33, 35; Mark 14:29, 31; Luke 22:33; John 13:37
8. Luke 22:17-19
9. Luke 22:24
10. Luke 22:25-26
11. John 13:23
12. Matthew 17:1-2; Luke 8:49-56
13. John 1:42
14. Matthew 14:28-31; 16:22-23, Luke 5:5-9, John 18:10-11
15. Matthew 16:16
16. Luke 9:21
17. John 17:12
18. Luke 9:22
19. Luke 9:23
20. Luke 22:27
21. Luke 5:8
22. Mark 2:8; Luke 5:22; Luke 6:8
23. Matthew 16:18
24. Luke 5:10
25. Matthew 4:19
26. Matthew 14:30
27. Luke 22:31
28. Luke 9:24
29. John 13:7
30. Luke 22:32
31. John 20:3-4
32. John 20:2
33. John 20:6-7
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