“Draw near to God and He will draw near to
you.”
James 4:8
“Draw
near to God, and He will draw near to you. Reach out to Him, for He is reaching
for you,” these prophetic word spoken to me by a pastor after he prayed for me
at the altar.
As I sat on the porch during this tepidly warm day, I felt
the presence of a dad coaxing his son to come closer and to sit on his lap. I
pictured my youngest son, now a third grader keeping distance between us, as he
no longer had the inner need to cuddle with his dad. He was becoming
independent and wanting to find his own way. Is this not what we do with God?
I wrestled with the prophetic words, my mind saying, You are close to God, you talk to Him
routinely − seemingly all the time, asking for guidance, wisdom, and
discernment. Yet, it wasn’t just talking with my son that I wanted when I
reached for him; I wanted to know and feel his love.
Doesn’t God know my heart? I speak from my heart; my emotions
bubble up and at times burst forth, even catching me off guard. Yet, am I
drawing near to God when I release my burdens, my pain, and my disappointment?
I picture last Wednesday night when with music playing at high volume − Sia,
“1000 Forms Of Fear” − the door open on that balmy evening, I began yelling at
the “person” sitting at the head of the dining table.
I was yelling at God. I was angry, no doubt, that I had not
connected with His daughter - the one He has reserved for me. It has been six years
since He spoke that promise. And so, I make assumptions. I deeply wanted to
talk with her, to develop a friendship, yet there is an excuse for every
overture of mine. What doesn’t make sense is she seemed to pull away after, on
her own volition, came to see me and tell me, “Yes,” she would help me with
“The Project.” It seems that when I connect with someone regarding my novel and
its publication, they end up pulling away after expressing their excitement and
desire to be involved. My marketing director hasn’t, but we have a business
relationship, and I am paying him for his services.
Although I emptied my gut of emotions to God, did I draw near
to Him? The following morning, I felt that the night before had gone wrong. I
felt the silence and distance from Father, as a son would with remorse that he
pushed back the one who loves him.
Father God is still sitting in that chair at the head of the
table. He hasn’t moved; he didn’t leave me.
“God will never leave you,” the pastor said into my ear.
The boy who was holding back from his dad moved closer. Dad’s
arms opened. The son sat on his daddy’s lap.
Draw near to God, and He will draw near to you. Reach out to
Him, for He is reaching for you. Abba, Father, I know you have plans for me, to
prosper me and not to harm me, to give me a future, and to give me hope.1
With that, I rested my head on His shoulder.
Praise
God for the words He has given me.
Copyright
© 2016 by Jeff Cambridge
Reference:
1.
In my own words from Jeremiah 29:11
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